The Romance Problem
by Agent Sapphire
Summary: Trouble, Chix and Grub with romance problems. Trouble and Chix want Holly, but it appears that she's with Grub! What is happening!
1. His Night

Chapter 1

**His Night**

**A/N:**This was originally meant to be a short story as part of some drabbles, but then I decided it could be a story in its own right. Please review, because I am not even sure anyone reads my stuff.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Not Artemis Fowl characters, not this laptop I'm using, not even my cookie (my sister ate it ). I wish I did. I might own the plot but I'm not sure. I hope I do.

Trouble Kelp was in the bathroom of a bar, slicking up his hair with an enormous amount of hair gel. He'd heard the Holly Short was going to be there that night and he wanted to look his best. Tonight was **his** night.

Chix Verbil walked into the same bathroom and stood at the sink next to Trouble. He got out some hair gel of the same brand and started doing his black hair too. He'd heard that his hopeful date would be there soon and he waned to look his best. Tonight was **his** night.

"Hey Trouble," said Chix causally. "What you doing here?"

"Same probably the same as yourself, knowing you," replied Trouble just as causally, turning round so he could check his hair from all angles. "Trying to get a date."

"Aww, come on," protested Chix playfully. "Am I that predictable?"

'Since I have never seen you when you weren't hitting on someone, yes," thought Trouble, though he didn't say it. Although annoying, Privet Verbil was a good officer, when not causing trouble and police work needed a lot of teamwork.

"Who are you meeting?" asked Trouble. "And more importantly, does she know that she's meeting you?"

"Not yet," admitted Chix. "But when she finds out that she's got the Chix man all to herself tonight, she going to be so happy!" Chix was now washing his face with some sort of special soap, making it go greener, which was a sign of a healthy sprite.

"Is she a sprite?" asked Trouble, who was smiling to himself in the mirror and think of chat-up lines.

"Nope, she a lovely Short lady," said Chix, laughing in his mind at the pun. He didn't want to give away any surprises. "Who's your date?"

"Same as you, she doesn't know I'm here," said Trouble, who was thinking through all of the romantic movies he'd ever seen, hoping to pick up ideas. "But I know that she'll love to have a companion on this lonely night. She might need someone to protect her from the strange people around. Anyway, she's hotter than the colour of her hair!"

"An elf then?" asked Chix, who was adjusting his special jacket that let his wings show. He believed that even with his scar, his wings were one of his best features.

"You bet!" said Trouble, who was admiring his outfit from every angle, making sure that it showed his muscles off to the fullest. "What weirdoes date outside of their species?"

Chix fluttered his wings angrily. "Lots of people!" he retorted. "Like your brother!"

"What!" said Trouble; shocked at the idea. "Somebody actually went out with Grub?"

"Oops, wasn't meant to tell you," said Chix guilty. "Please could you forget about it?"

"Only if you tell me who it is," bargained Trouble, still reeling from the idea of his little brother dating.

"Ok, it's the pixie called Bessie in traffic," said Chix quickly. "They set up a 'complaints club' and then Grub asked her out. Now please can we stop this? Grub might kill me."

"Ok," agreed Trouble. He'd seen Grub angry and it wasn't pretty. He checked his appearance one last time, and then decided he was ready. "I'm going to go and make my move," he told Chix confidently.

"Same," said Chix, rehearsing his pick up line. He knew this time he would get it right. They both walked out of the bathroom, both slightly sweating.

"See, your girl?" asked Chix.

"Yep," said Trouble. "Right over there."

"I see mine," said Chix.

"Are you going to tell me her name?" they asked each other at the same time.

They both took at deep breath. "Holly Short," they said as one.


	2. Fight!

**Chapter 2**

**Fight!**

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own anything. *Sigh*

They stared at each other.

"What do you mean Holly?" asked Chix indignantly. "She is so mine!"

"In your dreams!" retorted Trouble.

"Nhu-huh Mr. Silly Hair."

"As if yours is any better!"

"My hair is epic!"

"Says who?"

"Holly!"

*Gasp*

"She never!"

"She did! I quote, "Nice hair Verbil. See!"

"Prove it!"  
>"How?"<p>

"Lets ask Holly!"

"If she likes my hair?"

"No, dimwit, we both ask her out and see which one she wants to go out with! Duh."

"Who are you calling dimwit?"

"You, stupid!"

"What! You are the stupid one. Stupid, Stupid, given a miss by cupid!"

"Hey! Nice song, by the way."

"Thank you. It was yet another of my spur of the moment songs. I'm going to use them to serenade Holly with them."

While Chix and trouble were thinking about the song, they had momentarily forgotten about Holly. Now they were back to glaring at each other.

"You know those strange people I said Holly needed protecting from?" snarled Trouble. "Well, you're one of them!"

"How are you any better?" snapped Chix. "Holly saved me from the goblins! I knew she couldn't resist me!"

"That was a life or death situation. If it were anything else, she would leave you among the other green scum that you are."

"Racist!"

Chix punched Trouble on the nose.

"Hey!" Trouble shouted. He tackled Chix to the floor and pinned him down. He pulled his arm back to punch him, but Chix reached up a poked him under the arm. He tickled him until Trouble was rolling on the floor beside him, laughing until he was practically helpless, but still lashing out in fury. He couldn't believe that Chix had found his weakness. Well maybe he could find Chix's. He pulled Chix's hair until a chunk came away. Chix screamed.

"Nooooo! My beautiful hair!" he sobbed. "You moron!"

"Block head!"

"Stupid!"

"Idiot!"

"Ooh, you're fighting Trubs! I'll tell Mummy!"

While the two furious fairies had been insulting each other, they had been rolling on the floor, locked in combat. They both stopped in surprise at the odd comment and looked up. Standing before them was Grub, and beside him was the object of the fight, Holly Short. It appeared she had seen it all.

"What," she said sternly. "Are you doing?"

Trouble hastily stood up and Chix did beside him. They both looked at each other.

"He started it!" they protested, pointing at each other in a childish manner, and then ran of the bar.

"And that Grub," Holly said, looking Grub who was next to her, holding a notebook and pen. "Is how not to behave if you want a good date."

"No…fighting… with… people," whispered Grub as he wrote it down.

"Well done!" said Holly. "You're learning fast. Right, I have to go home now, so your homework for next week is revise on your notes."

Grub nodded.

"See you next week then!" said Holly as she left.

**A/N: **Review! Please! Pretty Please! I would say with a cherry on top, but I'm all out. Oh well. Virtual Hi-Fives for all reviewers.


	3. Grubs Lessons

**Chapter 3**

**Grub's Lessons**

**A/N: **I have decided to update again, even though I don't think anyone reads this. So far I have no reviews, but I only put this up yesterday. Maybe nobody has found it yet? I will test

ME: (shouting) HELLO! IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE IN CYBERSPACE?

Apparently not. I might of set my account so that only signed reviews are allowed and my Fic is so terrible everyone wants to flame it but feel scared of me knowing who they are. BRING ON THE REVIEWS!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything! Seriously, I'm wearing my little sister's pants right now! If I were a boy, I would have a wedgie right now.

**Helpful Comment GUT (HCG): **Too much information!

**Disclaimer (D): **Sorry. Anyhoo, I don't own Artemis Fowl. *Sob* THE END! ***Traumatised wail***

**HCG: **It's not the end; you haven't even started yet! But you've spent ages writing this ****! Now get on with the story!

**Weirdo: **Ooh, special comma/dot thing! SHINEY!

**A/N: **(REALLY QUICKLY) this is set the day before Chapters 1 and 2. Now please don't kill me for taking this long to get to the story. (Runs way from Weirdo)

Grub looked around the busy LEP canteen in the Police Plaza. He could see masses of rowdy, shouting people and food being flung across the room. He narrowed his eyes, searching for the one person he thought could help him, Captain Holly Short. He saw her over by the exit on the other side of the room. He had to get to her soon, or he would loose her in the corridors of the Police Plaza. His big brother, Trouble had warned him not to go off by himself in the big building, after he had got lost for two days in his first week.

He ran off though the middle of the room. The tables were arranged either side of a long straight passage that went from the entrance to the exit. Grub tore down it.

Suddenly, he caught his foot on a chair that was left in the aisle. He fell with his arms flailing wildly, despite what he had been taught at the academy about landing. His face smacked into the floor hard enough to make anyone wince. The people nearby started laughing and mocking his flailing arms. Grub felt tears welling up in his eyes. He'd make a complaint about it; that was for sure.

**(Weirdo: **Ooh, special comma/dot thing! SHINEY!) He'd enjoy talking about it at 'Complaint Club'. Bessie would help him with it. The thought of her reminded him of what he wanted. He got up, wiped his eyes and started running again.  
>'D'arvit!' Grub thought as a large group of smelly gnomes blocked the way. Usually, he would just endure the slowness and the smell and push past the gnomes. But today, he needed speed. He looked around for something that he could use to escape the blockage. All that was around were the tables. But maybe he could use them. Grub had never been very athletic, but now he ad finally found a use for exercise; it helps you with situations like the one he was in.<p>

**(Weirdo: **Ooh, special comma/dot thing! SHINEY!)

Grub had never been the fittest of people, and now he was regretting it. He tried to go faster and took a massive running jump onto a table. He leapt from table to table, standing in people's food and making them shout in alarm. Grub sped up; Holly was nearly at the doors.

(**Weirdo:** Ooh, special comma/dot thing! SHINEY!)

He noticed that AN upcoming table was covered in people sitting on it. There was no way he could land on it. He would somehow have to jump over it and onto the next table! Grub knew he couldn't jump that far. He looked up.

'Maybe there is something I could use?' thought Grub. Then, 'I'm going to make a complaint about people sitting on tables!'

Hanging from the ceiling were some lights on ropes. Old fashioned but the made the cafeteria look the part. The table with people on hadn't noticed Grub yet, so were staying in their places. Grub jumped up and swung on the light over the table, unfortunately at the exact moment one of the elf decided to stand on the table with his knife in the air.

The good news was that the knife didn't hurt Grub. The bad news was that it sliced along the side of his jumpsuit, making it fall off and leaving him running along the cafeteria tables in his pink My Little Unicorn with extra Pink Hearts boxers, with nearly everyone watching and laughing. In the back of his mind, Grub was worried about Foaly putting the surveillance footage on the Internet, but right now he was concentrating on getting to the exit. Holly had turned round to watch, but had simple rolled her eyes and walked back towards the exit.

The last table was coming up. Grub was confident he would be able to catch Holly up.

5 tables left.

4 tables left.

3 tables left.

2 tables left.

1 table left.

'Uh oh, it's Commander Root's table' thought Grub. But it was too late to stop. He leapt into the air, feeling very out of breath. However, as Grub jumped, Root started to rise from his seat, holding his plate of raspberry jell and bolognaise sauce. (**A/N: **Hey, he's a fairy and he's the boss. He can eat what he likes!) Grubs leg clipped Root's head and he started to fall. He kicked the plate and fell to the ground for the second time.

Grub lay on the floor in a heap. He was in so much trouble, and Trouble wasn't around to help. Root stormed over to him, his face covered in red food, but the food wasn't as reed as his face.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING CORPAL KELP!" he thundered.

Grub took what he thought was the most sensible course of action.

Grub fainted.

While Grub was out cold, several fairies gathered around him.

"I NEED SOMEBODY TO TAKE THIS STUPID FAIRY SOMEWHERE ELSE!" Roared Root, who had relaxed to his base state of being, furious. "YOU, SHORT! LOOK AFTER THIS IMBECILE!"

"Yes sir!" said Holly, obeying orders for once. She dragged Grub out of the cafeteria by his legs. It wasn't the only way, but she thought it was the funniest.

Holly took Grub into her office and splashed water in his face. He regained conscious slowly, looking around the room cautiously before noticing Holly. He blushed. He hadn't thought about it earlier, but he was feeling rather self-conscious now.

"Oh yeah, you need some clothes," said Holly. "I think I got some spares in the cupboard." She reached into a cupboard and pulled a jumpsuit out. "Nice pants!" she smirked. Grub blushed again as he pulled on the jumpsuit.

"There's nothing wrong with ponies!" he retorted angrily.

"Sure," said Holly. "If you're a little kid." Then her mocking expression softened to more kind one. "What was that about?" she asked with concern. "Do you need some mental help?"

She looked pretty when she was being kind. Grub could see why his brother wanted to go out with her.

"Help of some kind," admitted Grub. "Actually, I needed you. Running on the tables was the fastest way to you and if you left the room, it might not have been able to find you again!"

"Why did you need me?" asked Holly, surprised. She was a friend of Trouble, Grubs big brother, but Grub had never asked her for help before.

Grub looked around shiftily. "Is there a microphone in here?" he asked.

"No, I threatened Foaly with things you don't want to know if he listened to me. There is a camera though," replied Holly. "So it's OK you can talk in here with privacy. What do you need help with?"

"Well… you know that pixie called Bessie in Traffic?" Grub started.  
>"Uh-huh," nodded Holly.<p>

"Well… I asked her out but I have no idea of how to go on a date and I can't ask Trouble because he'll be cross and everyone else will laugh and you are the only sensible girl I can ask so please can you help me?" Grub said in a rush.

"Ok," said Holly. "Though I think that running in your pants across the room was a bit much. Root will kill you. I'll meet you in the bar next to Pete's Pizza tomorrow night and help you out. I'll give you lessons. Now, go and get on with your work. Oh, and by the way, wear casual clothes."

Holly hustled him out of the room, and then sat down to try and figure out how to make annoying Grub a good dater.

**A/N: **Don't worry, hopefully the weirdo has been captured and won't attack anyone… HELP IT'S THE WEIRDO! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Only joking. I dedicate this chapter to my little sister who watched while I madly acted out Grubs epic rampage, as I like to call it. I would also like to thank my tap, because it gave me water when I was exhausted from running around madly at 9pm while trying to decide what Grub would do, and my tissue, who wiped away my rabid spit at my mouth. I will dedicate some chapter to any reviewer who will make a You Tube video of the chapter, or just the table running part. I'm still not sure if people read this, though the profile says that people have seen this stuff.

See You!


	4. Grub in the Club

**Chapter 4**

**Grub in a Club**

By the following morning, Holly had sorted everything out. She'd bribed Foaly with a bag of carrots not to put the video of Grub on V-Tube and had gathered dating information from all of her friends and her few past experiences. She'd even found out that Chix had thought it would be amusing to put 20 spoonfuls of sugar in Grub's coffee, which explained why he had gone a bit mad. She'd even got a list of excuses she could use to go home if Grub got too annoying, drunk, or both. The only thing that could go wrong would be if somebody at work tried to date her while she was at the bar. She didn't want Grub getting bad habits.

Unknowingly, it was Holly's fault that Trouble and Chix tried to make a move on her. In the morning, she was in the same lift as Trouble. Usually she would talk to him, but she wasn't sure if Grub had told him about her trying to help him, so she kept quite. She kept her gaze off him to discourage conversation, but when she thought he wasn't looking, she glanced at him to check how he was. Unfortunately, Trouble caught her eye and Holly blushed, thinking he would think she was weird. Trouble though it was her flirting and resolved to ask her out that night.

Chix did not need much to do that. Two things happened to make him decide to ask Holly out for the 58th time, the first being: when the Recon squad were doing a quick course on handcuffing; Chix immediately handcuffed himself to Holly. Normally he would have been out cold in about 2 seconds, but Grub was watching everyone from a window, so Holly didn't want to worry him, as he was already clearly nervous of her.

The second was that he was the victim of a prank by the pixie named Bessie, who had seen him put the sugar in Grubs coffee and decided to get her own back. Chix's hair gel had been replaced with a purple dye, so at the coffee break when he redid his hair, it was slowly dyed purple. By the time Holly next saw him, after escaping from the handcuffs, he had neon purple hair that looked horrible with his green skin. Everyone but Chix was aware of it, which made the prank even funnier.

"Nice hair Verbil," Holly had smirked when she passed him in the corridor. Chix, being Chix, had taken it as a compliment on decided it meant she would not punch him if he asked her out.

As soon as the day was over, Holly raced home on her hover bike. She fixed herself a cheese sandwich and a nettle drink, before getting changed into a black t-shirt, jeans and trainers. The club didn't open until an hour later, so she killed some time by watching TV. By the time her program had finished, she still had half and hour, so she decided to walk to the club.

When she reached the bar she was meeting Grub, the room was practically empty. She ordered a Ping (the fairy version of coke) and sat staring at the door, sipping her drink. After a while, Grub walked in a Holly groaned. He was wearing a white t-shirt that said 'BANANAS!' and had a picture of a bunch of bananas.

He looked around the barely empty room carefully and Holly could tell he'd never been in a bar before. He came over to Holly and sat down beside her.

"Hey," said Holly. "Want a Ping?"

"Um… yes please," said Grub.

Holly handed him a can of Ping.

"Here," she said.

"Thank you," Grub said, taking the can carefully. He opened it and it sprayed everywhere, soaking Grub and getting Holly wet too. Grub immediately looked like he was going to cry.

"Don't cry Grub!" ordered Holly. "You're not very wet and girls don't like it when boys cry!"

Grub stopped and looked up at her.

"I'm going to help you Grub, ok," said Holly. "But I can't do everything. You have to make decisions for yourself and crying is not a good reaction to a situation, unless somebody dies."

Grub nodded.

"What do you think would be a good reaction to the situation?" Holly asked.

"Um… laugh?"

"Yes! That is a good answer! Imaginary gold star!" Holly shouted. She punched the air. Everybody in the room looked at her. She blushed and sat down.

"I just expertly demonstrated a bad reaction," said Holly, taking it in her stride. "Don't cause a scene. Have you brought anything to write with?"

"Yes," said Grub, brandishing a notebook and pen.

"Good, I'm going to ask you what to do in different situations. You tell me and I will tell you if it is appropriate. You write down the right answer." 

They continued like that for an hour, drinking many cans of Ping. Eventually, Holly ran out of situations and they just sat talking. Holly had always thought Grub was boring and annoying, but now she was getting to know him better she found she liked him. He wasn't an amazing talker about interesting things, but he listened politely to what Holly said, or at least appeared to. They talked for about half an hour, oblivious to what was happening in the bathroom, until Grub said "Look, there is a fight over there!"

He and Holly walked over, wondering what it was, until the reached the space on the floor where Trouble and Chix where locked in combat on the floor, screaming insults at each other.

"Ooh, you're fighting Trubs! I'll tell Mummy!" Grub said. Both the fighting fairies looked up at Holly staring angrily at them.

"What are you doing?" she asked them, surprised to see two member of the LEP fighting.

"He started it!" they both said and ran out.

"And that Grub," Holly said, looking Grub who was next to her. "Is how not to behave if you want a good date."

"No…fighting… with… people," whispered Grub as he wrote it down.

"Well done!" said Holly. "You're learning fast. Right, I have to go home now, so your homework for next week is revise on your notes."

Grub nodded.

"See you next week then!" said Holly as she left.

On her way home, Holly thought about the fight. It was very strange that two grown men would fight in a club. She'd expect it from teens, but not two young 80 something adults her age. She wondered what they were fighting about. She'd had many fights with Chix, but that was because he kept hitting on her, which he wouldn't do to Trouble, would he… Holly shook the thought from her head, it was the Ping that caused it; the makers had nearly been sued because it made the drinker think people were gay. It was strange about the fight though. Holly decided she would ask them about it at work on Monday.

Her thoughts turned to Grub. He was actually not that bad. He wasn't good looking, just normal and was quite annoying, but then most people Holly knew where annoying. She felt a bit sorry for him; he was always in the shadow of Trouble.

'That's why he always goes on about his Butler thing, I guess,' thought Holly. She resolved to ask him for a drink if Bessie turned him down. He really needed some friends.

**A/N: I think I deleted the weirdo because he really annoyed me. I know this chapter was boring, but I have been away from a laptop for over a week so I just wanted to get this chapter out the way. I added the last bit after a sudden realisation. Grub has an amazing older brother, who becomes a commander and he is rubbish LEP officer. He complains because he wants attention from everyone. His mum probably forced him to be a LEP officer, but his secret dream is to be a waiter in Spuds! He is very misunderstood. He really needs a friend. Or he is just an annoying twit. I don't know! VOTE IN THE REVIEW!**


	5. Not Mr Teddy!

**Chapter The next number after the last one I used**

**Not Mr Teddy!**

**A/N: Really sorry I haven't updated for ages, but stuff happens and I wanted to finish my other story. I'm going to try to finish one story at a time, so I was going to finish Skulduggery's New Love, but then I was like, I want to write that with my BF, because it is going to be really strange. Spies and double crossings will be included! Now I have successfully advertised my other stories, I will try to continue with this one. I'm going to try and keep it sensible, but that is hard. I promise that this will not be full of random stuff, no matter what the voices in my head tell me to do. **

**By the way, I noticed that in the first book sprites don't use 'g' at the end of a word, so that's why Chix suddenly starts saying stuff like "hoverin'" **

**Finally, just to make this clear, "double marks for speech" and 'single marks for thoughts.'**

On Monday morning, Chix was on his way to his cubicle when he saw an angry Holly on the other side of the room.

"D'arvit!" swore Chix as he sped up, hoping that Holly wouldn't notice him. He didn't think she would be very pleased with him after what happened in the bar.

"Chix!" said Holly, coming behind him. "Can you wait a sec?"

"Chix turned round and Holly stood in front of him.

"Why were you and Trouble fighting at the weekend?" she asked, never one to beat around the bush.

"Um, we didn't have a fight," Chix lied unconvincingly.

Holly frowned at him, obviously not believing him.

"Yeah…" she said. "You two both have evil clones that look exactly like you two and decided to have a fight."

"Um, no, but, um…" mumbled Chix, his wings fluttering behind him.

"Chix, you're practically hovering, I can tell you're trying to hide something," said Holly.

"I'm not hidin' anythin'!" protested Chix, who was by now hovering about a foot off the ground. "An' I'm not hoverin'."

"Chix, are you usually about a foot taller than me?" Holly asked impatiently.

Chix fought to keep on the ground and settled, wings whipping up behind him. That was why sprites were rubbish at poker; the wings always gave them away.

"Yes?" he decided to try.

Holly sighed; he was stubborn and you had to give him that. Just as she was about to interrogate Chix further, Root called her and she had to go off.

Chix sighed and relaxed, stopping fighting his wings. He shot up and hit the ceiling.

"D'arvit!" he swore. "I was hoverin'!"

What followed were unprintable obscenities as colourful as only a sprite could make them.

Holly returned from her call out at the end of the day. A gang of goblins had escaped from a police shuttle, but she had helped get them back in the end. As she was leaving police plaza, she saw Trouble and realised that she could ask him about the fight.

"Hey," she said casually, walking up to him. She gave a small smile, just to see his reaction.

Trouble blushed slightly and allowed some of his dark hair to fall over his face. "Hi," he replied, avoiding her eyes, continuing walking on the pavement to the block of flats, where his and Holly's apartments were.

"How was your day?" she asked, following him.

"Ok," he shrugged.

"Trubs, what happened when you had a fight with Chix?" asked Holly, never one for subtlety.

"We didn't have a fight," said Trouble.

"That's what Chix said," replied Holly. "Were you drunk or something?"

Trouble decided that that might be the best thing to say. "Yeah, we both were. I was annoyed by him never using g at the end of words," he said, hoping it would work.

Without noticing, he twisted a strand of his hair round his finger. He didn't notice, but Holly did. He did that when he lied to her, it was an unconscious action but Holly saw it all the time. He never worked out how she knew when he was lying.

"Oh," said Holly, seeming to be convinced. But really she knew it was something else. They talked for a while, just about normal things until they reached the floor with Trouble's apartment on.

"Want to come over for a while?" asked Trouble friendlily.

"Ok," said Holly.

Trouble opened the door with the finger scanner and let Holly in.

"Want a nettle drink?" he asked, opening the fridge to get one for him.

"Ok," said Holly from somewhere.

When Trouble turned round, he found Holly holding his little red teddy out of the window. She must have slipped into his room and stolen it.

"What the hell are you doing to Mr Teddy?" he asked.

"If you don't tell me why you had a fight with Chix, first I will drop Mr Teddy out of the window," said Holly in a dangerous voice. Her eyes were shining bright and beautiful; she meant business, even if it was in a rather silly way.

"No!" said Trouble. "Not Mr Teddy!"

"First I will drop Mr Teddy," continued Holly. "And then…"

"No! Nothing can be worse than dropping Mr Teddy out of the window! Please don't!" begged Trouble.

`"And then I will give Foaly the picture I took when we went camping!" threatened Holly, smiling.

"What picture?" Trouble asked, confused.

"This one," Holly replied, bringing out her phone with one hand while keeping Mr Teddy out the window with another. She showed Trouble a picture. It was a picture of him cuddling Mr Teddy in a sleeping bag and sucking his thumb.

"I kept it for blackmail."

"Oh gods, no!" said Trouble. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"Not if you tell me why you had a fight," said Holly, putting away the phone and brushing a stray strand of her hair out of her eyes.

'Wow, she must think it's a pretty big deal if she is willing to risk Mr Teddy and my career' thought Trouble, who valued those two thing nearly equally. 'I'd better tell her the truth, or at least part of it.'

"Well, Chix came and he wanted to ask you out and I didn't like him doing that so we got in an argument and then he fought me. Not My Fault!" said Trouble quickly. Again, he fiddled with a strand of hair and Holly realised that he wasn't telling the whole story.

'I guess that when your best friend is an expert blackmailer, you are going to get situations like this, especially if they have the teasing equivalent of a nuclear warhead at their disposal, aka Foaly.' Trouble thought.

"Oh," Holly blushed. She reckoned she knew what the fight was about now and it would fun to tease Trouble a bit, though not too much. After all, he was one of her best friends. She withdrew Mr Teddy from the window and gave him back. "Why do you care if he asked me out?" she asked.

'Because I wanted to ask you out because I think you're as hot as hell, even if you are my best friend,' Trouble wanted to say.

But instead he just said, "Because you're my best friend and I know you hate him,"

"I don't hate him," laughed Holly. "He's just incredibly annoying. Anyway, I was with somebody else that night. By the way, I need to go back now," Holly started to go out the door.

"Wait a second," said Trouble. "Who were you with?"

Holly turned round and smiled at him mischievously. So Grub hadn't told him, eh? Well, he'd have to find out by himself.

"Oh," she said breezily. "It's somebody you know. You'll have to ask them yourself." She waved and walked off.

Holly had known for ages that Trouble liked her. They were best friends and you couldn't hide things from best friends. She would go out with him immediately if he asked her, but only if he did. She didn't want somebody who couldn't even ask a girl out. She liked being with Trouble and could tell that even if she did turn him down he would still be her friend, but she wished that if he was going to ask her out, he would soon. That was why she didn't tell him who she was with, or why she was with them, to try and make him think she might already be taken and force him to make his move. That was her plan, anyway.


	6. Chix has a Haircut!

**Chapter 6 (I think…)**

**Chix gets a haircut**

**(It's more significant than it sounds)**

**A/N: Sorry about Mr Teddy. I thought Trouble actually did have a teddy, but** **it turned out that I was thinking of Bruce from CHERUB and somebody's fan fiction. Sorry. Also sorry about disclaimers, I forgot that I need to put them**

**I DON'T OWN STUFF! THIS GOES FOR THE REST OF THE STORY AND THE START IF I HAD NO DISCLAIMERS THERE!**

After Holly had left, Trouble sat down and hugged Mr Teddy.

"Don't worry Holly has gone now," he told Mr Teddy.

Mr Teddy did not reply. That is a good thing because if he did then a, Trouble might have an evil robot for a teddy or b, Trouble was going mad.

Trouble tried to remember who Holly had been with on the night of the fight. Grub had been there, but he couldn't remember anyone else he knew being there and he knew most people. But Holly didn't like Grub. She thought he was annoying. Trouble decided that he would watch them carefully over the next week.

On Thursday morning Holly came into work early, something unusual for her. She was getting a drink of coffee from the machine when Chix came up to her.

"Go away Chix," said Holly.

"No," said Chix.

"Please Chix," said Holly.

"No," said Chix. He got himself a coffee from the machine and followed Holly as she sat down on one of the seats. He sat beside her.

"What do you want Chix?" asked Holly impatiently.

"Lookin' good to day Holly, were you doin' somethin' to your hair?" Chix asked. It was what he asked every day.

"No," said Holly. Then she noticed that Chix had a new haircut. Holly didn't know the names of any boy haircuts; all she knew was that now Chix had short hair. "Oh, you finally got a haircut," she said. "It suits you. You look nice. Now can you leave me alone?"

"Thanks," said Chix and walked off. He knew that Holly would like his new haircut and he had been recording the conversation with a mike in his pocket. Now he'd show stupid Trouble! He had Proof with a capital P! Gnommish didn't have capitals, but that didn't stop fairies from using them.

A few minutes later, Trouble came up to her. He stood behind her when Holly who thought it was Chix again said "D'arvit off will you? I hate it when you annoy me twice a day. Why do you even need to?" without even turning round.

Trouble walked off. What had he done to Holly?

Holly was on her coffee break after spending all morning filling in e-forms when she saw Grub walking around. He looked lost, so Holly went over to him.

"Are you ok?" she asked him.

"No," said Grub sadly.

"What happened?" asked Holly.

"Well, Bessie was busy on the day that we were going to go out so we went out last night and we went to the place we went to and then she said that I was going out with you and then she said that she hated me and then she said that I was dumped and I don't know what that means and it's not fair and now she hates me and now we don't have a club and now nobody is my friend and, and, and…" cried Grub quickly.

"Stop!" said Holly. "No crying! Do you want to suffer death by Foaly?"

"No," sniffled Grub.

"So, no crying! Dumped means that Bessie is not going out with you. And why didn't you tell her that I'm not going out with you?"

"I did,"

"Oh. Well don't worry. Do you want to go back to that place tonight?"

"Yes please. Can I get a chocolate bar?"

"You can get what you like, it's your money."  
>"Yay!"<p>

And with Grub cheered up with the prospect of chocolate, Holly went back to work, thinking that everything was fine.

But, when she had asked Grub if he wanted to go to the club, Trouble had been walking past and thought that Holly was asking Grub out. He felt upset and betrayed that his best friend had gone out with his little brother.

'I'm going to ask him what the hell is going on!' he thought.

After work, Trouble went up to Grub.

"Hi!" said Grub happily.

"Are you going out with Holly?" asked Trouble directly.

"No!" said Grub.

"Then why are you going out with her tonight?" asked Trouble.

"'Cause she asked me to."

"Why?"

Grub blushed and turned away. He didn't want to tell his older brother about Bessie. "No reason," he said.

"Hmm… Why were you with her the other night?"

"No reason."

It was obvious to Trouble that he wasn't going to get a straight answer out of Grub.

"Fine," he grunted. "Bye." And he stormed off.

Just after that, Chix ran up to him.

"What do you want stupid?" growled Trouble. They were civil to each other at work, but afterwards they were just two people who hated each other.

"I got proof!" taunted Chix.

"Proof of what, that you're an idiot?"

"Proof that Holly likes my hair!"

Chix held out a small recoding mike and speakers and pressed play.

"It suits you. You look nice," said Holly's voice from the tiny machine.

"See! She didn't even swear at me! I'm runnin' an' I'm winnin'!"

Trouble couldn't believe it. Holly hated him it seemed, and was going out with either his little brother or his enemy! He felt as if he was slowly dissolving.

He turned around and slowly started to walk home without a word. With each step he hated Chix, his little brother and even Holly more.

When he reached home, he had an idea. He'd go and film Holly and Grub, then give the film to Foaly. It was evil, but Holly had betrayed him.

Later that evening, Holly and Grub were sitting in the bar. Holly was drinking orange juice and Grub was eating a chocolate bar. They had been there an hour and Grub was only a quarter through the bar. They had been talking about everything and Holly could see Grub was feeling better.

"I got a present for you," said Grub suddenly. He reached into his pocket and got out a squashed holly leaf. He gave it to Holly.

"Thanks," said Holly. She thought Grub was a bit weird doing that but it was a nice gesture.

"Do you like it?" asked Grub. "Careful because it is very sharp. I hurt myself 5 times on it!"

"It's lovely Grub," smiled Holly. "Wait a sec, I got a present too," she lied. She rummaged in her bag until she found an unopened chewing gum box.

"Here you go!" she said, giving it to him.

"Yay!" said Grub. He hugged Holly.

"Get off!" hissed Holly at him, trying to get away.

"Sorry," whispered Grub shamefacedly as he sat back down.

Trouble had been pretending to video somebody while that was happening, but really he was videoing Holly and Grub. He thought there might be a law against it but nobody really cared. He had planned to not let them know he was there, but Grub hugging Holly was too much to bear. He ran over to them, hiding the camera in his pocket.

"What the hell?" he shouted at Grub.

Grub made a whimpering noise.

"What did I do to make you hate me Holly? And why are you going out with Grub?" he shouted at Holly.

"But," Holly started.

"No buts. Holly, I hate you!"

**A/N: Ooh, all dramatic like and stuff! Probably isn't very, but at the moment it seems quite dramatic like. This is really hard to write as I watch absolutely no soaps ever and this is what happens on soaps, I think. Does it? Whatever, it's just really hard to work out what is meant to happen. Maybe I should change the category to Drama and Romance, because I'm not sure if this is very funny. I'll wait until I've finished it. However, when the internet works again for long enough to upload this and stuff, I will change he chTrouble and Holly. Chix has been screwed. Sorry about this chapter but i attemped to make it serious and i have found a sad fact.**

**This sort of story + stuff that seems funny to me = this story**

This sort of story - funny stuff = CHEESE!

This was cheesy. So cheesey you can put it on toast!


	7. Grub sticks gum in his ear

**Chapter Next one After the Last one**

**Grub Sticks Gum in his Ear**

**Sorry I haven't updated for ages but I am writing a book! To the person who is A/H, I am very angry with you now! Only joking, I understand that some people like it. The only thing I can't stand is Artemis and Minerva! Sorry the last chapter was so strange, and I think this is going to be the last chapter. I am a TOTALLY Holly and Trouble person as I think it is the most likely one in the series, but everyone thinks that about their favourite parings. Unfortunately, even though I think Trouble is amazing, I am constantly angry at him because he was a jerk to Artemis in the last book. One day I will write a story where he is punished for that. I think everyone in the AF series is amazing! I'm going to write a story about River meeting Orion sometime soon, as soon as I finish this and Skulduggery's new love! This chapter probably isn't going to be very long.**

**BTW, insert this comment after the first sentence. I get annoyed people telling me off for A/N's in the middle of a story so this has to go here: I'm really getting into this drama lark aren't I! I promise not to make it too cheesy. Yum, cheese!**

"No, Trouble, wait!" said Holly as Trouble turned round and headed for the door. "He's just my friend!"

"Then why w ere you hugging him?" asked Trouble.

"He hugged me because I gave him some gum!"

"Frond! Don't give him gum! Are you mad?"

"Why can't I give him gum?"

"Don't give him gum because he sticks it in his ear!"

"What!"

Holly turned round and found that Grub was indeed sticking gum in his ear.

"What the heck!"

Holly hit Grub and knocked him out.

"Your brother is weird," she said.

"Yeah," agreed Trouble. Then he became hostile again. "Then why were you going out with him?"

"For the last time, I wasn't!" said Holly. "He's just my friend!"

"You can't be friends with him!" said Trouble.

"Why not?" asked Holly.

"Because he's my brother," said Trouble, pouting like a five year old.

"That's a perfect reason to be his friend," said Holly. "You always do so well at stuff and everyone is always disappointed with Grub for not being like you! But now I'm Grubs friend and you can't stop me!"

"But you can't be friends with him," insisted Trouble.

"Why?" asked Holly.

"You can't be friends because he's my brother and I'm already friends with you," said Trouble, sounding like a primary school kid. "You can't be friends with both of us!"

Holly had an idea. "You're right," she said. "I can't." She hoped Trouble would get the idea.

It seemed he had. "Well, if you won't be friend with me…" he said. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Holly laughed and took his hand. "Thought you'd never ask!" she said.

They kissed.

**A/N: Well, that's the end of that story then. Everyone lives happily ever after. Grub gets the gum out of his hair and Trouble and Holly becomes a couple. The End.**

**WAIT A SECOND! WE FORGOT CHIX! **

As Holly and Trouble were kissing, Chix walked in. He saw them and swore loudly for several minutes. Then he went to the bar and ordered a Ping. Well, at least there were plenty of other girls in there!

**A/N: Yes, I know, sorry about the ending, but I so wanted to add that in. that's from the end of a Pokémon episode. The voice guys says "and after an exciting day, our heroes settle down for the night," or something like that and then Ash goes "WE FORGOT ABOUT GLYSCORE!" And then Brock and Dawn go "Agghh!" and then it shows glyscore looking sad! Sorry this chapter was short but it always was going to be. And sorry most of it was A/N. Agent Sapphire out. Peace!**


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